(4 posts)
About "One two three one two three" and chances
Written in 2024
Some rather quick notes about the work.
This piece was born from the contradiction between believing in chances yet not being able to catch those chances. Like, knowing there’s abundance and possibilities in the world but having a hard time interpreting the correct steps to find or create the right course of action for oneself.
Believing the world is full of abundance, chances and resources, but how does one find their way to them (or how do I get them to my bank account lol).
Life is singing and the universe is carolling but you don’t quite hear how the rhythm goes, at which moment should you join in and in what way. Which one is the right beat to get the ”one, two, three, one, two, three” step count going to catch the flow of that waltz?
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About "Interlude" and circle turning into spiral
Written in 2022
I’ve noticed that emotions come in circles, repeating themselves time to time until you take a closer look and do something about it. But when you manage to identify them and somehow admit and allow to release them, the cycle moves forward but in a more positive way - when that circle turns into spiral I guess. Some time ago I was in a place where I had to face the fact that what I wished for and worked towards was not happening in a way I wanted. And that reminded me of so many times in my life where I and my ego was in a similar situation. I swear I was able the smell the stank of that emotion, hurt ego whining when life didn’t follow it’s script. Good thing is, when you become aware of these things it only takes a little bit of emotional wrestling to settle the impatient drive into a boost for patience and methodical proceeding - and now with a little less friction.
I had to let go of the script. At least take a break from it. To play a little interlude to let life happen and bring me whatever there was to come down the line.
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About "Toss a coin and make a wish" and emotions
Written in 2022
When I was in my early twenties, colours were something I struggled with. Or the usage of colours better say. For the love of god, I wasn’t able to create free, versatile and communicative colour schemes - rather I went for colours materials had naturally or came straight out of tube, pencil or some other dyeing pigment like tea. Now that I look back I can see how it was a direct reflection of my own understanding of my emotions and how I wasn’t able to connect to them and let them exist and live freely. The more I delved into my emotions, sorted them out and got comfortable with myself through the years, the more colours poured into my works and instincts as I worked. Now it’s funnily obvious how colours in my art state emotional scenes and atmospheres and are one of the most crucial parts of my working. It excites me to add a colour onto another, seeing how the dynamic changes and how they build onto each other, perhaps needing some specific one to balance them out and to create harmony. When I see a colour that I consider unappealing, I know it has a great usage and place when combined with right colours in a right amount. Harmony with contradiction is something that makes me feel alive.
As I was unable yet longing to understand and connect to my emotions, I profoundly understood our need to be seen, to been witnessed by someone else as we are. That’s what we shout for, get so desperate for, get so angry and defensive of. These thoughts lingered in my mind as I was building up the colours scheme for ”Toss a coin and make a wish” and eventually became the whole story for the piece. As the name implies, the work depicts a wishing well. The different coloured yarns are different wishes from different people - or more so the different emotions people wish from. Some are bright and light, some muted and heavier. The well doesn’t answer directly to wishes, but to the underlying emotions, of which end result might be drastically different.
If I were to make a wish now, I think it would come from the bright, intense pink on the bottom left, the natural, harmonious mid-green on the right side and perhaps the calm, content blue on the top row. What about you?
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About "Lightning bug" and reminiscing childhood
Written in 2022
This piece became quickly about adult-me meeting child-me. Earlier this year I found a poem I wrote when I was ten-years-old. I immediately got inspired and wanted to incorporate it into an art piece. As I was working on the piece, I reminisced my childhood and my story as an artist. Here’s the rough translation of the poem:
Lightning bug shines bright in the night
during the day not a spark in sight
when the dark falls again
lightning bug shines bright in the night
Anton 10y/o
I grew up in the city of Hämeenlinna in Southern Finland. On the outskirts of the city, in the last neighbourhood before the large forests surrounding the area. I say this because those forests are the first thing that comes to my mind whenever someone asks me about my childhood. With age I’ve realised just how deeply it reveals the things that resonate with my heart and bring the sense of peace, serenity - and even truth for me.
Oftentimes we roamed around the forests with neighbourhood kids, building up huts from branches, making wooden swords and creating imaginary wars. And oftentimes, I walked around the paths on my own, zigzagging between tall pine trees, sitting on the tree stumps or moss covered rocks, pondering life. See, there’s a lot of sense of being alone in my life - since the very beginning. I’ve always had friends and people around me, but I could not feel quite as connected to them as they were connecting to each other. There was always a part of me that was watching the world from the outside, no matter how involved I was in things and groups. My family was very conservative Christian, which meant most forms of popular culture weren’t present in our home, creating a gap between me and other neighbourhood kids. My older brother as a sports loving guy was closer to our father and my younger sister as a daughter naturally closer to mom. I was often drawing, painting, writing stories and reading books in my own space, which came very naturally to me. Still does, providing an abundance of contentment.
Art was always a major part of me. Never in my life have I had to wonder what I wanted to do with my life. There was a point when I wanted to be an architect when I was teenager and in high school when I heard about graphic design I wanted to do that. I had a hard time deciding where to apply for college since I was interested in many things from art to graphic, industrial and furniture design. Eventually after having a gap year and traveling I applied and got selected to study Packaging and Brand design in Lahti University. It was the start of the biggest changes in my life.
Part of the curriculum of my design studies were art courses as well as art history. Those inspired me in a whole new way to create art. At the same time I had moved out of my home town for the first time, out of all the familiar social structures that mainly consisted of other conservative church families and going to church three times a week. Creating art became a very important platform for me to stop the running mind, close the world outside, take time to myself and face my thoughts and emotions. I went through multiple challenging times and ended up leaving the fate and community I grew up in. It makes you go through an emotional hurricane, things like that. Through my art I was able to connect to something else, to get comfort and even sense something bigger in my presence. I got the same feeling devoting to my art as I got wandering in the forests as a kid. It brought me the same lightness of emotion, same peace and serenity - and still does. Of course the long artistic processes are also the perfect place to face all the uncomfortable feelings as it is impossible to run with impulses when you weave fabric or dye yarn and paper for hours and days.
Through the years artistic working was (and is) the key element for my well-being and sense of balance. The agency I worked for as an Art Director got into financial trouble and I got laid off so suddenly I found myself unemployed and heart-broken for that - but also for the first time I was able to use all my time for my art, not just the evenings and weekends outside work or studies. And the way it affected my well-being was incredible. I didn’t have money but I was happy and fulfilled to wake up to my life every day. That was when I decided I had to go fully for a fine art career.
The process of this piece made me look back at my life more profoundly than anything I can remember before. Or does the profoundness come with age, I don’t know. It’s incredible how art work can be so deeply reflective and offer such a full circle moment and a sense of personal completion.
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